If You Want to Be Great, You Must Have This

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The other day I was looking at some 'views' stats on my articles.

But it wasn't encouraging.

The results I wanted weren't there. Views. Subscribers. Any momentum. And as I looked more and more, I became more and more discouraged. 

I know what I want. But I'm not experiencing the results.

Have you ever experienced this?

You're showing up consistently. Doing the work. Committed to the process. 

But just not getting the results you want.

Or, perhaps a little deeper: you're living life, doing what you think is correct, but can't seem to stay out of the way of stuff happening, adversity striking, and challenges that test you.

You're doing your job but feel like the boss doesn't notice. You're eating right and hitting the gym, but your body isn't looking like you want it to. You're doing all the right things with your money: investing, saving, budgeting, and still, it barely feels like you made much difference last year.

All of us, at some point in life, have experienced results we wished were better. We thought we deserved it. We even argued it was unfair.

Success rarely arrives in the timetable we desire. And the pitfalls of life never seem to ask us whether it's a good time.

When I think about the results I've received, it's almost always well beyond my original plan. It doesn't seem as simple as 'do more' or 'hustle harder.'

Sometimes, like it or not, it takes time, patience, and the willingness to stand in the pocket and take the hits.

Or, a much better word for anyone looking to be great in life. To consider. Always. And around every corner: Resilience.

When we turn the TV on to watch our favorite football team on Sundays, we expect it. When we watch our children grow, struggle, and learn through things, we hope for it. When we read about our favorite business icon or athlete we admire or great strategist in history, we celebrate it.

And yet here we are, wishing things were easier. Hoping, just this once, we could get a pass. Let us be the one that doesn't have to fight through hell and back to get through this challenge in front of us, please, oh pretty please.

Nope.

It doesn't work that way.

And you know this…even if you don't like it.

Philosopher Alain de Botton says, "A good half of the art of living is resilience." 

'Resilience'

Something that will get you through a lot in life.

Loss.

Failure.

Mistakes.

Parenting.

Screw ups.

Hard times.

Goals that are worth it.

Relationships that matter.

In fact, maybe one of the greatest compliments anyone can receive in this life is, "Wow! They sure are resilient."

Who wouldn't want that compliment? It means something. It shows something—even if we hate what it took to get there.

After all, it says you went through something or something(s) that wasn't easy—tested your resolve—stretched your mettle. It made you tough.

It means you faced something and came out on the other side. You got up after you failed. You got hit, maybe even knocked down, but never quit. You were hurt, on the ropes, and yet, here you are, with that description: 'They're resilient.'

But, of course, we want to hide from it. Shrink when it's calling. Stare at it until it goes away. Hope it forgets we are here. Wish it was someone else's problem. Whine about that fact we have to tap into it…again.

All the while, this thing never changes. You have an obstacle in front of you, and Resilience is calling you.

Your child needs you to be Resilient in the face of family adversity. The family is in a little bit of a season. It hurts. What are you going to do? Face it head-on or sulk about the inconvenience of the situation?

Your business is struggling. It doesn't need better ideas, more creative marketing, or a new 'secret sauce.' What it needs is more resilience from everyone involved. More willingness to face the unsatisfying results, weather the storm and take the simple but necessary actions to gain traction again. 

What you're struggling with right now, what needs your attention, what's demanding your concentration is far less about quick fixes and much more a game of endurance. 

Because this 'thing,' this goal or obstacle or situation that you desperately wish was different or better…

Well, it's not going to just disappear or fix itself without calling on us to dig deep and muster up some of the old 'R' stuff.

While I was training for a marathon last year, someone asked, "How do you run that long? What's going on in your head?" My reply: You learn how to get comfortable with pain.

Isn't that a part of life?

Sure, we don't want adversity in our lives. We don't hope for it or sit around wishing it would come join us in life. We have plenty to worry about. We don't need more problems. 

We hope life is smooth. People stay healthy. Drama stays away. Loss is adverted. Goals are easily obtained. Setbacks are minor. Easily fixed. Uncommon. 

We hope.

And hope is a good thing.

But let's face it: Hope doesn't guarantee we get what we want.

Maybe you're one of the few reading this and thinking life hasn't been all that challenging for you. Life is good. Business is good. You've never faced too much adversity in life, buried someone you loved, filed for bankruptcy, fought your way back from the bottom, or experienced things that forced you to tap into this Resilience.

You've been blessed with a pretty smooth road.

I hope there are more than a few of you. 

But if you have, and some days it hurts more than others, take to heart the words of the legendary oilman of the late 1800s, John D. Rockefeller:

"Oh, how blessed young men are who have to struggle for a foundation and beginning in life. I shall never cease to be grateful for the three and half years of apprenticeship and the difficulties to be overcome, all along the way."

Rockefeller would, at one time, be the wealthiest man in the world, earning generational wealth that still stands today. But he started as a bookkeeper and aspiring investor right before The Panic of 1857, a massive financial crisis in America.

He witnessed others lose their fortunes. He most likely took some losses himself—just as he was getting his feet under him. But instead of panicking or cutting and running, he stood strong. He learned. He evaluated.  

Rockefeller allowed life to give him some resilience training. 

And, like it or not, we all have to take the same training from time to time, whether we willingly signed up for it.

What challenges us forces us to be better. It toughens us. Requires growth. 

Our 'Resilience' muscle will atrophy if we don't use it. And while you and I both hope we don't have to use it much. I think we know better.

Life will demand more of us: even if we don't want it and especially if we want to be great.  

In life, business, parenting, and relationships. 

And when it does, we must meet it with grit and determination. 

We aren't weak. 

We've trained for this—whether we wanted to or not.

Thanks for reading!!