How to Age On Offense (And Avoid Life's Red Lights) So You Can Thrive

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I wrote a few weeks ago about turning 40 and how I was embracing this moment rather than viewing it as a bad thing.

I borrowed a phrase by Matthew McConaughey, Age on Offense. In his well-written and deeply insightful memoir, Greenlights, he offers wisdom from a similar moment of his life:

Learning to live better! 

Isn't that what we're pursuing? Aren't we seeking more truth, happiness, moments worth living, and fewer moments of regret or sorrow?

Whether you're 20, 40, or 60, getting better, and learning to thrive more, is all the same. It's the ability to stare your truths in the eye and then do something about it. Eliminate or double down on it, but don't procrastinate. Because, after all, none of us are getting any younger.

A Latin phrase recently becoming popular, Memento Mori, means, "Remember that you must die." For some, this is morbid or too uncomfortable. But its origins are intended to serve as an effective reminder.

However you view it, the truth remains that you don't have all the time in the world to live your best life. Whether you want to be naive about life or not, your birth was a gift, and attached to it is a guaranteed expiration date.

How you choose to view it is your call. But what should not be lost is that you don't have time to waste. You must make the best of what you have right now, RIGHT. NOW.

And there's no better way to do that than by starting today and getting a little better each day.

Making small improvements. Curbing bad habits and, finally, starting good habits. Prioritizing what truly matters so you can double down on the things in life that never leave you unsatisfied, let down, or regretful.

So how do we age on offense? How do we take what wisdom we've acquired and use it to our advantage? Even if our minds, bodies, and hearts have aged another year? How do we recognize and avoid the 'red lights,' be cautious of the 'yellow lights,' and race toward the 'green lights?'

Eliminate 'Red' Lights

Discovering the red lights of life is one thing. Taking action to avoid them moving forward takes discipline, even courage.

By now, in life, you probably have a pretty keen sense of the things you develop quick regret over.

Skipping the workout, sleeping past when we said we'd get up, staying up later than usual, having one more drink, letting ourselves indulge in those extra calories, and saying 'yes' to things we know we should just say 'no' too. We might not always regret it, but we rarely wish to replay it. These are red lights.

Spending that extra time with our children, taking that walk when we feel frazzled, pushing ourselves through the workout we don't want to show up for, and displaying a sliver of discipline by ordering a salad. Some of these might be less pleasurable at the moment but more satisfying in the long run.

Our mission isn't to be perfect, to never indulge, to eliminate any moments of spontaneity, or allow ourselves to rest or give ourselves a break. But it is time to consider the consequences if we keep running through these red lights.

Because the score is still going to show up on the scoreboard, those missed workouts will eventually hurt our health, and the extra calories must go somewhere. The to-do list won't check itself off. Our goal won't materialize if we don't show up, prioritize, and do what we know we need to do. And we don't get do-overs with our kids or spouses.

Maybe, if we allow ourselves a little grace, we can justify why we ran so many red lights in our youth. Maybe...

But if we keep running through those now, now that we know what we know…should we be a little harder on ourselves? Should we question this a little more?

You know what your red lights are. You know how they're holding you back.

What are you going to do about this?

Turn Old Hardships Into Strengths

It's unlikely that you haven't experienced some setback or obstacle in life. You've probably suffered from failure, experienced grief in some form or fashion, been let down by someone or something, or even had your heart broken by life.

It isn't easy to see the strength you're developing in the middle of those storms, seasons you'd rather not experience again. Even rarer is uncovering that strength in time to use it in those darkest hours.

More often than not, the lessons learned, the heartache experienced, and the grit built on those challenging times takes space to become an asset.

Like many of you, I've had my heart broken by life. I've stumbled through failures and challenges, experienced setbacks, and faced odds that felt too difficult to overcome. It sucks. These moments can cripple you in a way you never imagined possible and leave you stumbling to find your feet.

In those moments, it's tough to call upon that muscle you're slowly building because you can't see past the storm in front of you.

But when the hardships are behind you, it's time to use this for what it is: a strength that will only become a blessing if you are willing. 

And while we will never be exempt from hardships, obstacles, and disappointments, the fortitude and strength we build in these seemingly dark moments will give us a power that we should not ignore.

Don't allow the hardships, the challenges, and perhaps the mistakes of your youth to go unused in building your dream life, your best life.

Life is challenging. Happiness, joy, success, and any other positive attribute we hope for in life aren't guaranteed, but there's no reason not to strive for them. At the least, we should seek, as McConaughy said to thrive in life.

Will it be easy? Of course not. Will it be clean? No way. Will it take an effort to work beyond what seems possible at times? Absolutely.

To age on offense is anything but easy, but it's available to us all.

Whether you view yourself as winning or trailing on the scoreboard of life doesn't matter. By choosing to grow, evolve, become better, show up, and commit to winning, you are playing offense with your life.

Don't sit back in a prevent defense, hoping that life doesn't give you more than you can handle. Be ready. Face it. Live through it, strengthened by it, wiser for it, and prepared to work your way through it.

Learn to live better.

Live to thrive!

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